I always thought if I were to write a political opinion book, I would call it "Glenn Beck made me a liberal". I grew up with a conservative republican father who loved to listen to Rush Limbaugh. The familiar tone of the EIB station break still gives me a nostalgic feeling. Anyhow, as an adult I consumed copious amounts of AM conservative talk radio. Bill O'Reilly, Michael Savage, and Glenn Beck. They were always playing in the background. One day Glenn Beck had a guest on named James Howard Kunstler who had written a book called the Long Emergency about peak oil. I kinda had these prepper/gun nut/libetards are ruining the world mentality but instead of reinforcing my redneck, prepper, first amendment ideals, It lead me to think about environmental degradation, question capitalism, and opened my eyes to the inherent racism, and bigotry on the right. I realized I had been wrong about most everything I had believed up to that point. But here is the thing, lately I find questioning myself once again. It's sorta terrifying! Last year, I found myself marching in a Pride parade with a friends non-profit organization. Thousands of people cheering me on as I walked behind the Progressive insurance float, and in front of the Target rainbow banner. At that moment I thought, "why am I here, I'm not even gay?" Now I find myself calling the guy who revolutionized the zero emissions vehicle a deranged nazi, spewing contempt for parents questioning vaccines produced by big pharma while cheering support for parents rallying for gender affirming care. Peak oil never happened and despite being energy independent "my party" still supports bombing the shit out of the middle east. Point is, I was wrong 15 years ago, and I am questioning how right I am today.
I'm turning 35 tomorrow. I am father to three beautiful children. I am coming to the realization that the process of becoming and being a parent is in good part to realize how wrong you constantly are. My eldest daughter is 9 she is so fucking smart I can't even wrap my head around it. She understands maths almost intuitively and loves history. She makes art and appreciates it, she is sensitive loving and deeply caring and yet it feels like she's hungry and wants it all for herself.
Some of her childish behaviors almost feel performative. I am in a perpetual state of wrongness about her and I've got two more.
For years I've been a Thoreau fan and have been skeptical of modern society and so called technological progress. Then as I aged a bit, I began slipping into yuppiedom and thinking, this isn't so bad, we've never been more comfortable, I should be happy, etc. Then I read The Dawn of Everything and Civilized to Death and now I'm foraging for wild edibles and about to build my first bow. This isn't necessarily a right vs wrong thing. I'm grateful for your work and influence.
Being wrong is the down stream effect of an upstream set of errors. Be them, the big Bias we carry with us, willful blindness and logical fallacies. So for use to lower our error coefficient its vital to learn more about how we under mind our own success in making good choices.
For a huge portion of my life I was less then empathic to people who made simple mistakes that put them in harms way often know as "Human Error". that was until I took a 10 week lecture series on Human Factors and technical diving. "A great pilot doesn't get in their aircraft and as they are taxing for takes off, says "today is a great day to crash"." But sometimes they do.
So I dont accept "Human Error" as the reason but rather I am far more compassionate and understanding to my fellow humans and our in-ate fallibility. I was wrong to be so hard on people.
A great book on thinking errors thats also funny is:
You Are Not So Smart: Why You Have Too Many Friends on Facebook, Why Your Memory Is Mostly Fiction, and 46 Other Ways You're Deluding Yourself - David McRaney
I was wrong about how dangerous Trump would be the second time around. I thought he wasn’t as skilled a totalitarian, even if only by the proxy of his hangers-on, as the general crying wolf freak-out around him seemed to cast him. I hadn’t seen that he had learned from his mistakes, honed his techniques, and would mount such an alarming reprise, this time with the additive of revenge.
I’m so humble that I don’t even brag about the fact that I raised the most money for the Polar Plunge fundraising campaign at my work and won a golden plunger. I don’t even brag to people as they walk by my desk and see that beauty every day.
How dare you try to out humble me by conceding in this humiliating stand off. You’ve won this round. You are in fact more humble than me. Which makes you the most humble person on this third rock from the Sun.
Jus wanted to add in real quick. Being a scientist i get into very gnarly debates everyday. I love when someone proves me wrong. Thats when i learn. Sometimes ill just say stuff just to get corrected. Being stupid is really smart haha. Its a secret weapon. The opposite of a know it all is a learn it all! Cheers love all u
For sure. Hard to change someones beliefs. Theyre so instilled in them. Better to just lead by example and work on yourself then it rubs off on the world. Takes a lot of mindfulness. Its a jedi Gurdjieff move to not react to things from the past emotionally and choose a new path in the moment by seperating yourself from the you that usually reacts in those situations.
Ditto and not just parents! I learned to simply look in the mirror anytime I was in a relationship that needed fixing. Usually the solution lay there. In any case, it was the only thing I had any control over. And if the relationship couldn't be changed, usually my attitude toward it could. Not that I have completely mastered this - just realizing it's the correct path for me and continuing to work on it.
I don’t think most of us have completely mastered anything. The ultimate wisdom is in the doing of the thing, not the realization. I think the thing for me is one, controlling what I can, which is myself, but also accepting where the other person is at, and that the relationship may never be what I’d like it to be. It’s only then that you can see if for what it is and get the most out of it, instead of engaging in a cycle of flawed expectations and disappointment. Acceptance doesn’t mean you’re giving up on the person. That the tough part for me, acceptance can feel like giving up.
I thought my company cared about its employees and that my job was entirely secure, but it’s not. My cousin and 85 others were laid off. I still have a job luckily (or unluckily?). I’m reminded of that story you once told about good luck and bad luck. “We’ll see.”
Anyhow, got me thinking of how little humankind has actually changed since the beginnings of civilization. Most of us are still slaves to some heartless master—one that would sacrifice us in the name of his God of Growth and Greed. At least we get paid, but money runs out fast when you’re fired. At any moment the ice can crack and you might not be able to climb out.
Ever since I left active duty from the Marine Corps in 2008, I figured that I was fine. I avoided going to the VA and ignored clear signs that I needed some mental health treatment. After a mental health episode that put me in the hospital last fall, I realized that I was wrong. I realized that I had to put some things on pause and care for myself. I even realized that I should be in some meds, as much as I hate the pharma industry. I’m doing a lot better now but I could have got treatment a long time ago. I’m happy where I am though.
A couple months ago, two guys passed away that I had served with. One committed suicide and the other overdosed. That hit me like a ton of bricks. Now I’m much more open and honest about my mental health issues. I’ve learned that we all have these problems whether we’ve been to war or not.
I whish you the very best. If you're facing the issues and if you're honestly dealing with them, there's a pretty good chance to recover. Speaking from experience. (Although my isssues did not come from military service)
Sometimes you trip and fall, and it doesn’t start to hurt until a few days later…makes you wonder if some pains have a certain kind of “speed” to them. Like a seed waiting to sprout
Interesting point, I’m sure that plays a factor. There were a number of contributing factors to my issues last fall. Past trauma from combat was just one. I am a relatively new father also and that may have stirred up some deep emotions. Although I love being a dad.
I got my passport stolen in France, at an American Hotel! Never something I thought I had to worry about before it happened. Literally was in the lobby when it happened. So smart were the thieves, who worked in a pair. One to distract you and another to steal your backpack or whatever. I have many stories of what I’ve been wrong about. So much!
A few weeks ago my sister commented on some story about passengers onboard Mexico City's metro train being victims of 'needle pinches', supposedly perpetrated by would-be assailants seeking to drug them, in order to rob their possessions or maybe even to kidnap them.
I judged the matter as yet another urban myth, akin to the fears of needles infected with HIV stuck on movie theater seats in the middle of the AIDS crisis of the 1980s.
Turns out there's been more reports coming out, so I guess the threat is true. Yet another think to worry about in this wonderful megalopolis of ours...
I always thought if I were to write a political opinion book, I would call it "Glenn Beck made me a liberal". I grew up with a conservative republican father who loved to listen to Rush Limbaugh. The familiar tone of the EIB station break still gives me a nostalgic feeling. Anyhow, as an adult I consumed copious amounts of AM conservative talk radio. Bill O'Reilly, Michael Savage, and Glenn Beck. They were always playing in the background. One day Glenn Beck had a guest on named James Howard Kunstler who had written a book called the Long Emergency about peak oil. I kinda had these prepper/gun nut/libetards are ruining the world mentality but instead of reinforcing my redneck, prepper, first amendment ideals, It lead me to think about environmental degradation, question capitalism, and opened my eyes to the inherent racism, and bigotry on the right. I realized I had been wrong about most everything I had believed up to that point. But here is the thing, lately I find questioning myself once again. It's sorta terrifying! Last year, I found myself marching in a Pride parade with a friends non-profit organization. Thousands of people cheering me on as I walked behind the Progressive insurance float, and in front of the Target rainbow banner. At that moment I thought, "why am I here, I'm not even gay?" Now I find myself calling the guy who revolutionized the zero emissions vehicle a deranged nazi, spewing contempt for parents questioning vaccines produced by big pharma while cheering support for parents rallying for gender affirming care. Peak oil never happened and despite being energy independent "my party" still supports bombing the shit out of the middle east. Point is, I was wrong 15 years ago, and I am questioning how right I am today.
it's not my story but I got quote this from the ACX substack, where he quotes a chess player: "the mistakes are all there waiting to be made".
the quote hit me deep haha - like the idea that the mistakes already exist and we are just going to walk into them
I'm turning 35 tomorrow. I am father to three beautiful children. I am coming to the realization that the process of becoming and being a parent is in good part to realize how wrong you constantly are. My eldest daughter is 9 she is so fucking smart I can't even wrap my head around it. She understands maths almost intuitively and loves history. She makes art and appreciates it, she is sensitive loving and deeply caring and yet it feels like she's hungry and wants it all for herself.
Some of her childish behaviors almost feel performative. I am in a perpetual state of wrongness about her and I've got two more.
For years I've been a Thoreau fan and have been skeptical of modern society and so called technological progress. Then as I aged a bit, I began slipping into yuppiedom and thinking, this isn't so bad, we've never been more comfortable, I should be happy, etc. Then I read The Dawn of Everything and Civilized to Death and now I'm foraging for wild edibles and about to build my first bow. This isn't necessarily a right vs wrong thing. I'm grateful for your work and influence.
Being wrong is the down stream effect of an upstream set of errors. Be them, the big Bias we carry with us, willful blindness and logical fallacies. So for use to lower our error coefficient its vital to learn more about how we under mind our own success in making good choices.
Here is a good video on being wrong
https://www.ted.com/talks/kathryn_schulz_on_being_wrong
For a huge portion of my life I was less then empathic to people who made simple mistakes that put them in harms way often know as "Human Error". that was until I took a 10 week lecture series on Human Factors and technical diving. "A great pilot doesn't get in their aircraft and as they are taxing for takes off, says "today is a great day to crash"." But sometimes they do.
So I dont accept "Human Error" as the reason but rather I am far more compassionate and understanding to my fellow humans and our in-ate fallibility. I was wrong to be so hard on people.
A great book on thinking errors thats also funny is:
You Are Not So Smart: Why You Have Too Many Friends on Facebook, Why Your Memory Is Mostly Fiction, and 46 Other Ways You're Deluding Yourself - David McRaney
I think a lot of people made that mistake, I hope most will come to see their mistake sooner than later.
I believed in progress and the whole Steven Pinker spiel until I read your books and… I think I was happier 😢😢
Sorry about that.
Thankfully, with a lot of other knowledge you shared you made me happier!!!!
I was wrong about how dangerous Trump would be the second time around. I thought he wasn’t as skilled a totalitarian, even if only by the proxy of his hangers-on, as the general crying wolf freak-out around him seemed to cast him. I hadn’t seen that he had learned from his mistakes, honed his techniques, and would mount such an alarming reprise, this time with the additive of revenge.
thinking that i wasn't the most good looking, wisest, and most humble man on earth. I've never been so wrong!
Sorry to tell you that you’re in fact wrong. I’m way more humble than you. You’re not even in the same humility league as me.
Blasphemy!
I’m so humble that I don’t even brag about the fact that I raised the most money for the Polar Plunge fundraising campaign at my work and won a golden plunger. I don’t even brag to people as they walk by my desk and see that beauty every day.
that's hard to argue against
How dare you try to out humble me by conceding in this humiliating stand off. You’ve won this round. You are in fact more humble than me. Which makes you the most humble person on this third rock from the Sun.
(twirling moustache): ha, ha ha, my devious plan has worked
Yeah, I made that mistake, too.
Why aren't you at the Conclave getting ready to be Pope 😅😁
I don't like the fashion (and the pretend celibacy)
Jus wanted to add in real quick. Being a scientist i get into very gnarly debates everyday. I love when someone proves me wrong. Thats when i learn. Sometimes ill just say stuff just to get corrected. Being stupid is really smart haha. Its a secret weapon. The opposite of a know it all is a learn it all! Cheers love all u
Thinking that I could fix my relationship with my parents through sheer force of will.
For sure. Hard to change someones beliefs. Theyre so instilled in them. Better to just lead by example and work on yourself then it rubs off on the world. Takes a lot of mindfulness. Its a jedi Gurdjieff move to not react to things from the past emotionally and choose a new path in the moment by seperating yourself from the you that usually reacts in those situations.
Ditto and not just parents! I learned to simply look in the mirror anytime I was in a relationship that needed fixing. Usually the solution lay there. In any case, it was the only thing I had any control over. And if the relationship couldn't be changed, usually my attitude toward it could. Not that I have completely mastered this - just realizing it's the correct path for me and continuing to work on it.
I don’t think most of us have completely mastered anything. The ultimate wisdom is in the doing of the thing, not the realization. I think the thing for me is one, controlling what I can, which is myself, but also accepting where the other person is at, and that the relationship may never be what I’d like it to be. It’s only then that you can see if for what it is and get the most out of it, instead of engaging in a cycle of flawed expectations and disappointment. Acceptance doesn’t mean you’re giving up on the person. That the tough part for me, acceptance can feel like giving up.
I thought my company cared about its employees and that my job was entirely secure, but it’s not. My cousin and 85 others were laid off. I still have a job luckily (or unluckily?). I’m reminded of that story you once told about good luck and bad luck. “We’ll see.”
Anyhow, got me thinking of how little humankind has actually changed since the beginnings of civilization. Most of us are still slaves to some heartless master—one that would sacrifice us in the name of his God of Growth and Greed. At least we get paid, but money runs out fast when you’re fired. At any moment the ice can crack and you might not be able to climb out.
Thinking I'm incredibly self aware, while still somewhat regularly offending others, and myself.
I relate
Ever since I left active duty from the Marine Corps in 2008, I figured that I was fine. I avoided going to the VA and ignored clear signs that I needed some mental health treatment. After a mental health episode that put me in the hospital last fall, I realized that I was wrong. I realized that I had to put some things on pause and care for myself. I even realized that I should be in some meds, as much as I hate the pharma industry. I’m doing a lot better now but I could have got treatment a long time ago. I’m happy where I am though.
A couple months ago, two guys passed away that I had served with. One committed suicide and the other overdosed. That hit me like a ton of bricks. Now I’m much more open and honest about my mental health issues. I’ve learned that we all have these problems whether we’ve been to war or not.
Glad to hear you have solid compass heading Ben
Semper Fi
I whish you the very best. If you're facing the issues and if you're honestly dealing with them, there's a pretty good chance to recover. Speaking from experience. (Although my isssues did not come from military service)
Thanks Andreas, I’m a lot better now but my optimism is cautious. I’m relieved that I know when and how to ask for help though.
You weren’t wrong you just didn’t know. I had to figure that out, too. Stay where the light is, Devil. It gets brighter. SF
Thanks Jason, that’s sound advice.
Sometimes you trip and fall, and it doesn’t start to hurt until a few days later…makes you wonder if some pains have a certain kind of “speed” to them. Like a seed waiting to sprout
Interesting point, I’m sure that plays a factor. There were a number of contributing factors to my issues last fall. Past trauma from combat was just one. I am a relatively new father also and that may have stirred up some deep emotions. Although I love being a dad.
I got my passport stolen in France, at an American Hotel! Never something I thought I had to worry about before it happened. Literally was in the lobby when it happened. So smart were the thieves, who worked in a pair. One to distract you and another to steal your backpack or whatever. I have many stories of what I’ve been wrong about. So much!
A few weeks ago my sister commented on some story about passengers onboard Mexico City's metro train being victims of 'needle pinches', supposedly perpetrated by would-be assailants seeking to drug them, in order to rob their possessions or maybe even to kidnap them.
I judged the matter as yet another urban myth, akin to the fears of needles infected with HIV stuck on movie theater seats in the middle of the AIDS crisis of the 1980s.
Turns out there's been more reports coming out, so I guess the threat is true. Yet another think to worry about in this wonderful megalopolis of ours...
Cuidado amigo!
Thanks. Fortunately I haven't had the need to use the subway in a while. Terrible experience during rush hour.