As always, nothing is off limits, but to get us started, I’m wondering what is the last book/film/TV show that moved you to tears? And does this happen more or less frequently as you get older?
Within the past week, I coincidentally listened to CPR's episodes with Chris Jaymes where they discussed the second question. :-)
Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind immediately pops in my mind (Studio Ghibli anime). I find it to be such a beautiful movie, it actually moves me to even more tears the more I watch it - then again, it could be due to getting "older" as suggested in the 2nd question (which I think of differently; see below). In this case, I think of it as appreciating the movie more with every re-watch. In-sum, tears from beauty.
Gifted (from 2017, a film about a child math genius) greatly surprised me to cry and think - maybe even say out loud - "I miss math." My reaction definitely caught me off-guard. Thinking about it now, 1-2 years later, I haven't really made space in my life for math since studying it in college ~10 years ago and even then rarely felt immersed in it like I did in high school (where I think I experienced less pressure, distractions, and "rush to get it done and on to the next thing," i.e. ~trance). In-sum, tears from nostalgia, sentimentality, and/or loss.
In general, I do think I am more likely to be moved to tears "as I've gotten older," although I suspect it happens less "frequently" than when I was younger due to me rarely making time to immerse myself in a "book/film/TV show" /music/etc. like I did when I was younger. I suspect that I let myself get distracted and feel "pressure to be productive" way more often now and experience much less "flow."
Anyway, I think of my increased likelihood to be moved to tears less as due to "aging, less testosterone as a male, etc." and more as having less embarrassment/shame, i.e., becoming more accepting of my feelings, opening myself up, self-confident, grateful, generous, empathetic ... than I was in my childhood. Greatly due to experiences where I've felt such from others - seemingly moreso in my adulthood (I'm 32) than my childhood - or so my story goes. The past 8 years I moved around a lot and spent 5 years living in Germany, so that definitely comes into play into my development. Similar to how development from such experiences is often presented on the podcast (which provided me solidarity while living abroad and which continues to be the primary reason it's my favorite podcast since discovering it 3+ years ago).
As for the LAST of those which moved me to tears: Just yesterday, I was moved to tears unexpectedly by an episode of Full Metal Alchemist (anime), which I have finally begun watching after years of reading/hearing recommendations for it. Since I'm only in the first 10 episodes, I'll describe what happens in them without regards to spoilers, but if you plan to see it and don't want to spoil a moment in the first 10, then stop reading now. ;-)
In the episode, they introduced a very endearing child character (5 years old). The child welcomed and loved others without reserve, called them brother/sister, invited them to play, helped them, etc. and spoke with an adorable lisp. :-) One of the scenes with the child was so full of such beauty that I was moved to tears. A few episodes later, the father of said child uses the child in a permanent alchemy-transmutation with a dog to create a talking dog which now has the child's hair - and their lisp. The father was fueled by ego, ambition, external pressure to perform, etc. ... as he says: to show science that it can be done and he can do it. That was a very disturbing twist which I kept thinking about throughout the day and will probably stay with me.
A much longer answer than I planned to give ... in true "Tangentially Speaking fashion." ;-P
Hey Chris, was just thinking about Hunter Maats and went looking for any current pods, etc, but he's gone quite dark online, I think..? There's a retweet from Jan.. I just hope he's alright! His way of thinking was really sane and helpful.
Hey Chris, I wanted to bring this to your attention. The patent for a drug to treat tuberculosis was set to expire soon, and it looked like Johnson and Johnson was going to extend their patent for another 4 years, potentially killing millions of people in the process. YouTuber John Green made a video and asked people to contact the company asking for this not to happen. Well it looks like J&J did the right thing and they're gonna allow generics of the medicine to be produced saving literal millions of lives.
So I'm writing this here because I hope to get the perspective of those who have traveled down this road and made their choice at the intersection I am at...
My small young family is looking to break out of the big city stress maze and live somewhere near mountains and nature. Of course we would take a pay cut, but also cost of living would be less. Sounds idyllic but the reality is that to make this jump, we give up a lot of what made our lives "ok" at best here in the city. We would have to re-start our business (doable, but again with a pay cut). But where we are now, there's no fresh air, only trees are landscaping company approved, pesticides everywhere, traffic traffic traffic....it's the classic dilemma.
Sorry for rambling. I guess Im just looking for the perspective of someone who has, ya know, done this. Who has jumped off the cliff after packing their own parachute and made it work. Thanks for your time and perspective.
When I was younger, I held back tears or hid them. After choosing to get pregnant and needing a late term abortion due to fatal anomalies, my relationship with tears has evolved. Im always floating face up on an ocean of them, but I cant always feel that theyre there.
Now, my tears well up quickly and unexpectedly at times, and arent there when I assumed they might come. It feels really good to feel like youve run out of tears and nothing can be sad enough to make you cry the way you used to.
Specific plant medicines bring a tear to my eyes every time - and the song 'Pure Michigan' by Julian Klincewicz just brought that feeling to me (but I didnt cry). It might make someone else cry, it has a very nostalgic and layered quality.
I got an email headlined 'tears are a technology'. I havent read it, but as we enter the cardinal water sign of astrological cancer, I ponder our inseperable relationship with the water that moves through us and everything else.
I don't cry much but the one that generally can bring it out of me is the film Morvern Callar. the end scene when the mommas and the papas song comes on, it guts me. I'll be watching it soon though probably. I found out my new wife has NPD. I confronted her last week about it and she's gone. the last 5 years have all been a lie drowning under more lies. and I was in love with a fictional character
A Little Life by Hanya Yanagihara/ a beautiful and painful testament to the power of friendship. Hauntingly good. Tears frequently throughout the book. I'd say I cry more now as I'm older, it's easier too since I have my past to reflect on. I think because as we age we bear witness to the pain of humanity. We experience the scattered singe of sorrow that permeates all of our lives. I rarely cried pre 18 years old probably because as you grow up life gives you everything then takes it all away (I'm speaking broadly here we all all walk our own paths) That's how it's gotta be though so it's all gratitude at the end of the day.
I recently finished reading Burmese Days by George Orwell. Albeit not the first book that comes to mind as a tearjerker, the final chapter left me sobbing.
I won't give a complete spoiler just in case but here's the gist (mild spoiler alert):
You develop a softness, then a fondness for Flory (and his unwaveringly loyal dog) throughout the book, even though he’s a bit of a childish asshole at times. But his final acts really make you wrestle with your emotions - you want to empathise, but you can't help thinking how unbearably selfish he was. It becomes even worse when you learn of the horrible fate of his dear friend Veraswami who was protected from the corrupt U Po Kyin by his friendship to a European. Essentially you’re given no consolation, only tragedy. You are moved, but you are left feeling utterly empty.
And something else completely unrelated... I wasn't moved to tears by this but I was certainly moved. It's a few excerpts from Adam Frank's recent article in The Atlantic titled 'Scientists found ripples in space and time. And you have to buy groceries'. I think it is one of the most beautiful pieces of writing I have read this year:
"...every proton and neutron in every atom from the tip of your toes to the top of your head is shifting, shuttling, and vibrating in a collective purr within which the entire history of the universe is implicated."
"The gravitational-wave background is huge news for the cosmos, yes, but it's also huge news for you. The nature of reality has not changed - you will not suddenly be able to detect vibrations in your morning coffee that you couldn't see before. And yet, moments like these can and should change how each of us sees our world. All of a sudden, we know that we are humming in tune with the entire universe, that each of us contains the signature of everything that has ever been."
I'd really recommended reading the whole article if you get a chance.
Cheers and best wishes to everyone out there. Thanks again for the open thread Chris. Legend.
I have no idea how to put YouTube links in Substack. Sorry, Friends.
It begins -
“Imagine, when a human dies, the soul misses the body, actually grieves the loss of its hands and all they could hold. “
“The soul misses the holy bruise blue from that army of blood rushing to the wound’s side. When a human dies, the soul searches the universe for something blushing, something shaking in the cold, something that scars, sweeps the universe for patience worn thin, the last nerve fighting for its life, the voice box aching to be heard.”
“The soul misses the legs creaking up the stairs, misses the fear that climbed up the vocal cords to curse the wheelchair.”
There are more beautiful words if you care to explore. But there’s another thing at play behind the emotion. Andrea is my age, 47 or 48 years, not yet 50, and recently found she has a recurrence of cancer that doesn’t have many treatment options. There is no fairness in life I know but it pisses me off that someone who creates such intense beauty receives such intense pain to face down. And how she is trying mightily to find levity and joy in the darkness of it all, share it and not cower. I think it’s an amazing gift to be given the time before dying to see it ahead and greet it without clenched fists. It’s a grace not many possess. And I hope she has years yet to write her witness.
The 1995 film “Smoke” gets me, but it could be because I watched it with my father as a kid before he passed away. Such a great film though.
I shed half a tear watching little miss sunshine the other day.
Honestly, this may sound really weird, but the thing that makes me tear up pretty much more than anything are these “good sportsmanship moments” YouTube videos. There’s something about people being kind when you least expect it that moves me.
I’ve been crying happy sad tears to “Help Yourself” by Sad Brad Smith.
The entire song is beautifully written and moving; it straddles the line between hope and despair. After listening to the latest ROMA and hearing the rant, this lyric stands out to me:
“Oceans of water underneath our feet, terrible design”
We can sit around and dwell on the dark of the world and being frustrated. But that’s like complaining about how water should flow differently.
I cry for not having the strength to help myself and those I love(d) moments of weakness too. The song’s guitar melodies and bittersweet lyrics hit me right every time.
Wow!! Think you need to get back out of the US Chris.... All that ranting!! Not good for the blood pressure baby.
I live between NZ and Thailand. 6 months in each. I see a lot of people from all over the world here, and guys from the US... And most of them sound like you!!
People from the rest of the world not so much!!
I get it... The US has turned to shit... Once upon a time everyone wanted to go there.... Not any longer!
And yes I'm very happy to be here to watch the beginning of the end.. Or the middle of the end....
Or wherever we are in terms of THE END!
If that's where we are?
YES YES YES!
God yes, and I'm appreciating every single moment of being here now.
What a time to be alive!
My mother went through the London blitz (WW11) alone as a single mother of 2 very young children. My father left her for another women 2 weeks after my brother was born just as war was breaking out! And it was freezing, snow everywhere.
She told me many scary stories about her life during that time. It was hard! But she also told me that it was one of, if not the best time of her life. Because she felt so alive. She said pretty much everyone she knew felt the same.
And yes, I fully get what she means now.
Being here now at this time when humanity is faced with so many layers of crisis and potentially on the edge of destruction (or maybe not) is incredible.
I actually feel privileged and at 72 I really am so damn grateful to be here. Feeling life coursing through my body everyday is fucking awesome.
In fact I so wish I could live to see what happens. Which is why I'm doing everything I possibly can to 'optimize' my body, mind and spirit! I know how much you dislike that word and lifestyle Chris... But it's working for me!! 🙏💖
PS my mother eventually took my father back as women often do. And I was born in 1950. So I've lived through some of the best times ever! Doesn't mean my life has been easy... Not at all. There's been huge tragedy and grief over the years.
Just finishing ROMA 65 and a long walk, craving Skim Milk for some reason? I had the pleasure of seeing Tears for Fears last Thursday and shed a tear or two singing along to “Everybody Wants To Rule The World”.
I’m sure you’ve all heard it hundreds of times but, couldn’t help but think about the lyrics and how well they fit with what was discussed in this ROMA.
If you haven’t heard their latest stuff, “My Demons” is a favourite.
A couple weeks ago, I watched the Studio Ghibli movie; Grave of the Fireflies. It was so well done, and so sad. The story is about Seita and Setsuko, two young Japanese siblings, living in the declining days of World War II. It's based on a true story as well, which made it even more sad 😭🫶🏻
The 2020 animated movie "Onward" and the accompanying soundtrack song "Carried Me with You" by Brandi Carlile got me pretty good. More recently the funeral episode from the last season of Succession (Roman's breakdown specifically) was tough to watch. And it definitely seems like this becomes more common the older I get (43 now).
I recently watched the Pixar movie "Soul" with my little nephew. I didnt know anything about it going into it and at the end there is a montage of all the beautiful moments of the main guy's life. Moments where he is filled with awe, gratitude, spiritual connection, though now you are seeing him experiencing it with the larger context of the journey of his soul. I was completely moved to grown man tears.
I thought the movie was genius, and one of the best movies Ive seen in a long time. Maybe its because I am a 33 year old man with no kids, but Ive never heard anyone talk about it really, which surprises me...
"Rectify" Sundance TV, I remember that show sneaked into your veins. The story. The acting. The music. The show is kinda slow and requires full-commitment but it's such a well-told drama. I don't know about "tears" but it definitely moved me a lot.
Another very fine thing that can be had from a book is a Sense of Wonder.
No doubt I've found that in lots of books, but what comes to mind are two novels by Arthur C. Clark. "Rendezvous with Rama" I read when well into adulthood. Just the description of that space ark & the mysteries inside produced a strong sense of awe.
When I was 15 I read Clark's "Childhood's End" while, by chance, listening to Blood, Sweat & Tears' "Child is Father to the Man" ("child" had nothing to do with it — it was just the LP I was playing over & over on my beat-up record player at the time). I got a similar sense of awe from that book.
We all know the association of music with "real life". I still listen to Child is Father to the Man sometimes, & it always puts me in mind of that book.
It definitely happens to me more frequently. I can get teary so easily from books/films/shows. But weirdly enough, it's really hard for me to do so in 'real life', even for really intense moments of my life. I'm not sure what that says about me and I should probably explore it more.
For the most recent, it was the show called The Leftovers. It aired from 2014-2017 but I just got around to it. It's only 28 episodes so not a huge commitment.
The premise is that one day, 2% of the world's population disappear into thin air. The show isn't about finding out what happened to those people. It's about how those left behind deal with this strange, unexplainable occurence.
The writing is insanely good and the questions that the show grapples with are deeply applicable to all of us as human beings with a finite existence. It's definitely a show I'd like to re-watch in a couple years. I highly, highly recommend it.
I watched a movie last night called "Detachment" which may have been the first time I ever cried watching a film. I cannot recall another time a movie had brought me to tears outside of when I was a child. This movie is about a substitute teacher who accepted a position at a high school comprised of primarily at risk youth and students performing well below grade level. The majority are apathetic about doing anything to change their situation and the protagonist is able to make some connection with these students despite the hopelessness that they are in. The film really highlights developmental trauma and impact it has on our youth and the hopelessness that educators can find themselves in when they are expected to clean up the mess that parents have brought on their children. This movie hit especially close to home for me because I am in a similar situation working as a therapist through an alternative school who are quite similar to the students depicted in the film. I really resonated with the sort of detached demeanor of the protagonist and it almost felt like I could see myself in his shoes. It often feels like to do this kind of work, one must be detached to some degree just to handle it especially when surrounded by some of the horror stories of what these kids have gone through. Some of the scenes in this movie just straight up brought me to tears because I felt as if I'd been in situations so similar and felt these same feelings, but often times pushed them aside.
I used to cry a lot when I was a child but at some point learned how to suppress those emotions and cry very little past that point. I do think I'm more aware of my emotions now and able to identify tears bubbling up in certain circumstances. The impulse to suppress is always there though and it has been a work in progress to allow myself to fully feel those feelings. Probably speaks more to why I resonated so much with this film.
Just as tearful now in my 30’s as I was when I was a kid. Still further to go in life *touches wood* so we’ll see. All depends on the resonance of the message for me.
First time I remember shedding a tear over a Tv show was when Kel came back to kenan’s empty house looking for him but Kel had already moved/left.
More recently I shed a tear over the film “through the night” ft Liam neeson. It’s a cheesy film but it puts into the the frame how some fathers will go to the end of the earth to save their sons. Hits hard when you not experienced much positive masculine energy.
More recently I remember the tear ducts stinging over “Sing 2” which I watched with nephew. The animated lion was singing about his dead wife who’d passed from cancer! I was thinking damn! They got me! 😢😂
Mid Nineties a film by Jonah Hill got me as did his film Stutz. As a therapist I’m often disappointed how Hollywood depicts therapy but Jonah got it right when midway through Stutz he had the guts to acknowledge he had got it all wrong from the beginning. In making the shift he not only gave the audience something more honest and meaningful but he allowed himself to be transformed by the process.
The first chapter of The Overstory moved me to tears. I read it, cried and took a walk, and then re-read the first chapter. It was powerful.
Recently, I cried tears of laughter when I watched the movie Twins with Danny Devito and Arnold Schwarzenegger. For context, it came out the year before I was born, and I watched it with my partner who used to rent it all the time as a kid. It was refreshing to watch an innocent 80s comedy and be transported away from the madness of the world in 2023.
This song, Dancing in the Graveyard, is the one piece of art that will put tears on my face without fail. After losing both parents in 2018/2019 and having lost my grandfather two decades prior, this song really makes me wish I could see them all at least one more time. https://youtu.be/lPOM0IUsd_0
And YES, the older I get the more inclined I am to weep at things.
When my mother died, the hospital staff put a picture of a dove holding an olive branch in its beak at the door. That’s when I knew what had awakened me in the night. I couldn’t get the image out of my head, and I went and looked it up.
Additionally, a couple works that I know moved me to tears—-The Tale of Despereaux (film version), and Sturgill Simpson’s A Sailor’s Guide to Earth.
I've always cried at pretty much anything--from Thai commercials to crappy movies and everything in between. Lately, I've cried like a baby listening to Social Distortion (Ball and Chain) and playing the game Red Dead Redemption 2. RDR 2 really fucked me up. I cried for 3 days straight, and I still check some cut scenes on youtube with the same effect. This year was the first time that a video game made me cry (the screenwriting in video games is getting better and better). It started with Ghost of Tsushima and now RDR2
Believe it or not The Walking Dead and Sons of Anarchy both got me recently. It's more common the older I get.
Speaking of books, Chris have you ever read Gary Jennings and his book Aztec? It's monumental world building and storytelling at its best. It's sex, drugs, and rock n' roll, Aztec style. It's also hilarious and quite moving.
Maybe my favorite thing about the book is a book review I read once. The reviewer said he read the book in his early 20s and twenty years later he's still traumatized haha! Jennings writes amazing historical fiction books.
He has another book about a circus troop during the civil war. He researched Aztec for a decade before writing it and lived with a circus troop for a year for the other book.
I couldn't say specific movies or shows, but every time there's cancer involved I cry and even stop watching. I am dealing with some trauma, but cancer seems to be everywhere!
Narcissus and Goldmund by Hermann Hesse
No Bad Parts: Healing Trauma and Restoring Wholeness with the Internal Family Systems Model by Richard Schwartz.
Within the past week, I coincidentally listened to CPR's episodes with Chris Jaymes where they discussed the second question. :-)
Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind immediately pops in my mind (Studio Ghibli anime). I find it to be such a beautiful movie, it actually moves me to even more tears the more I watch it - then again, it could be due to getting "older" as suggested in the 2nd question (which I think of differently; see below). In this case, I think of it as appreciating the movie more with every re-watch. In-sum, tears from beauty.
Gifted (from 2017, a film about a child math genius) greatly surprised me to cry and think - maybe even say out loud - "I miss math." My reaction definitely caught me off-guard. Thinking about it now, 1-2 years later, I haven't really made space in my life for math since studying it in college ~10 years ago and even then rarely felt immersed in it like I did in high school (where I think I experienced less pressure, distractions, and "rush to get it done and on to the next thing," i.e. ~trance). In-sum, tears from nostalgia, sentimentality, and/or loss.
In general, I do think I am more likely to be moved to tears "as I've gotten older," although I suspect it happens less "frequently" than when I was younger due to me rarely making time to immerse myself in a "book/film/TV show" /music/etc. like I did when I was younger. I suspect that I let myself get distracted and feel "pressure to be productive" way more often now and experience much less "flow."
Anyway, I think of my increased likelihood to be moved to tears less as due to "aging, less testosterone as a male, etc." and more as having less embarrassment/shame, i.e., becoming more accepting of my feelings, opening myself up, self-confident, grateful, generous, empathetic ... than I was in my childhood. Greatly due to experiences where I've felt such from others - seemingly moreso in my adulthood (I'm 32) than my childhood - or so my story goes. The past 8 years I moved around a lot and spent 5 years living in Germany, so that definitely comes into play into my development. Similar to how development from such experiences is often presented on the podcast (which provided me solidarity while living abroad and which continues to be the primary reason it's my favorite podcast since discovering it 3+ years ago).
As for the LAST of those which moved me to tears: Just yesterday, I was moved to tears unexpectedly by an episode of Full Metal Alchemist (anime), which I have finally begun watching after years of reading/hearing recommendations for it. Since I'm only in the first 10 episodes, I'll describe what happens in them without regards to spoilers, but if you plan to see it and don't want to spoil a moment in the first 10, then stop reading now. ;-)
In the episode, they introduced a very endearing child character (5 years old). The child welcomed and loved others without reserve, called them brother/sister, invited them to play, helped them, etc. and spoke with an adorable lisp. :-) One of the scenes with the child was so full of such beauty that I was moved to tears. A few episodes later, the father of said child uses the child in a permanent alchemy-transmutation with a dog to create a talking dog which now has the child's hair - and their lisp. The father was fueled by ego, ambition, external pressure to perform, etc. ... as he says: to show science that it can be done and he can do it. That was a very disturbing twist which I kept thinking about throughout the day and will probably stay with me.
A much longer answer than I planned to give ... in true "Tangentially Speaking fashion." ;-P
-Nix
Hey Chris, was just thinking about Hunter Maats and went looking for any current pods, etc, but he's gone quite dark online, I think..? There's a retweet from Jan.. I just hope he's alright! His way of thinking was really sane and helpful.
Anyone in London? Here for a weekish.
Hey Chris, I wanted to bring this to your attention. The patent for a drug to treat tuberculosis was set to expire soon, and it looked like Johnson and Johnson was going to extend their patent for another 4 years, potentially killing millions of people in the process. YouTuber John Green made a video and asked people to contact the company asking for this not to happen. Well it looks like J&J did the right thing and they're gonna allow generics of the medicine to be produced saving literal millions of lives.
Here are the links to the videos I'm referencing:
https://youtu.be/tMhgw5SW0h4
https://youtu.be/eywz5xYuNPo
Torn
So I'm writing this here because I hope to get the perspective of those who have traveled down this road and made their choice at the intersection I am at...
My small young family is looking to break out of the big city stress maze and live somewhere near mountains and nature. Of course we would take a pay cut, but also cost of living would be less. Sounds idyllic but the reality is that to make this jump, we give up a lot of what made our lives "ok" at best here in the city. We would have to re-start our business (doable, but again with a pay cut). But where we are now, there's no fresh air, only trees are landscaping company approved, pesticides everywhere, traffic traffic traffic....it's the classic dilemma.
Sorry for rambling. I guess Im just looking for the perspective of someone who has, ya know, done this. Who has jumped off the cliff after packing their own parachute and made it work. Thanks for your time and perspective.
Today tears.
After reading Guinevere Turner's deeply moving new memoir When the Worlds Didn't End.
Then watching her movie Charlie Says (2019) just now. These things a somewhat connected and both quite great.
The movie made me even happier that Leslie Van Houten is finally being released.
These controlling dudes. . .
Earlier this week I finished reading Peter Bogdanovich's 1984 memoir about his love of Dorothy Stratten.
I talk about it here, my new book babble thing
https://youtu.be/Ait1EeXXDgg
When I was younger, I held back tears or hid them. After choosing to get pregnant and needing a late term abortion due to fatal anomalies, my relationship with tears has evolved. Im always floating face up on an ocean of them, but I cant always feel that theyre there.
Now, my tears well up quickly and unexpectedly at times, and arent there when I assumed they might come. It feels really good to feel like youve run out of tears and nothing can be sad enough to make you cry the way you used to.
Specific plant medicines bring a tear to my eyes every time - and the song 'Pure Michigan' by Julian Klincewicz just brought that feeling to me (but I didnt cry). It might make someone else cry, it has a very nostalgic and layered quality.
I got an email headlined 'tears are a technology'. I havent read it, but as we enter the cardinal water sign of astrological cancer, I ponder our inseperable relationship with the water that moves through us and everything else.
I don't cry much but the one that generally can bring it out of me is the film Morvern Callar. the end scene when the mommas and the papas song comes on, it guts me. I'll be watching it soon though probably. I found out my new wife has NPD. I confronted her last week about it and she's gone. the last 5 years have all been a lie drowning under more lies. and I was in love with a fictional character
A Little Life by Hanya Yanagihara/ a beautiful and painful testament to the power of friendship. Hauntingly good. Tears frequently throughout the book. I'd say I cry more now as I'm older, it's easier too since I have my past to reflect on. I think because as we age we bear witness to the pain of humanity. We experience the scattered singe of sorrow that permeates all of our lives. I rarely cried pre 18 years old probably because as you grow up life gives you everything then takes it all away (I'm speaking broadly here we all all walk our own paths) That's how it's gotta be though so it's all gratitude at the end of the day.
“Who invited these assholes into the living room to talk us like we are fucking idiots?” C.Ryan
Good question!
“Fuck this optimisation bullshit” C.Ryan.
Good point.
Latest ROMA is fire
Thanks bro.
I recently finished reading Burmese Days by George Orwell. Albeit not the first book that comes to mind as a tearjerker, the final chapter left me sobbing.
I won't give a complete spoiler just in case but here's the gist (mild spoiler alert):
You develop a softness, then a fondness for Flory (and his unwaveringly loyal dog) throughout the book, even though he’s a bit of a childish asshole at times. But his final acts really make you wrestle with your emotions - you want to empathise, but you can't help thinking how unbearably selfish he was. It becomes even worse when you learn of the horrible fate of his dear friend Veraswami who was protected from the corrupt U Po Kyin by his friendship to a European. Essentially you’re given no consolation, only tragedy. You are moved, but you are left feeling utterly empty.
And something else completely unrelated... I wasn't moved to tears by this but I was certainly moved. It's a few excerpts from Adam Frank's recent article in The Atlantic titled 'Scientists found ripples in space and time. And you have to buy groceries'. I think it is one of the most beautiful pieces of writing I have read this year:
"...every proton and neutron in every atom from the tip of your toes to the top of your head is shifting, shuttling, and vibrating in a collective purr within which the entire history of the universe is implicated."
"The gravitational-wave background is huge news for the cosmos, yes, but it's also huge news for you. The nature of reality has not changed - you will not suddenly be able to detect vibrations in your morning coffee that you couldn't see before. And yet, moments like these can and should change how each of us sees our world. All of a sudden, we know that we are humming in tune with the entire universe, that each of us contains the signature of everything that has ever been."
I'd really recommended reading the whole article if you get a chance.
Cheers and best wishes to everyone out there. Thanks again for the open thread Chris. Legend.
i tear up every time i watch the bishop and jean valjean's soliloquy from the movie les misrables 2012..
hugh jackman is so good, what a performance to show how much jean feels "my shame inside my like a knife"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w6e-qui-K-I
Film "Sound of Freedom", is not the typical war-action movie, is about human trafficking, especially children, I cried like a baby, also eye opening.
The Kite Runner was a gut wrenching read. For context I shed tears about once every two years. This book got me in the feels.
I’m tearfully reading Andrea Gibson’s poetry, book is “Lord of the Butterflies.” This one is called “Tincture.”
https://youtu.be/gzwev9sJd7k
I have no idea how to put YouTube links in Substack. Sorry, Friends.
It begins -
“Imagine, when a human dies, the soul misses the body, actually grieves the loss of its hands and all they could hold. “
“The soul misses the holy bruise blue from that army of blood rushing to the wound’s side. When a human dies, the soul searches the universe for something blushing, something shaking in the cold, something that scars, sweeps the universe for patience worn thin, the last nerve fighting for its life, the voice box aching to be heard.”
“The soul misses the legs creaking up the stairs, misses the fear that climbed up the vocal cords to curse the wheelchair.”
There are more beautiful words if you care to explore. But there’s another thing at play behind the emotion. Andrea is my age, 47 or 48 years, not yet 50, and recently found she has a recurrence of cancer that doesn’t have many treatment options. There is no fairness in life I know but it pisses me off that someone who creates such intense beauty receives such intense pain to face down. And how she is trying mightily to find levity and joy in the darkness of it all, share it and not cower. I think it’s an amazing gift to be given the time before dying to see it ahead and greet it without clenched fists. It’s a grace not many possess. And I hope she has years yet to write her witness.
Ren - For Joe (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ebX5ZvrT6-o&ab_channel=Ren)
Every time I listen to this it brings me to my knees. Insanely talented chap.
On a tangent, guess that's okay here. Money Game is redolent of Civilized to death and very clever:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YonS9_QJbp8&ab_channel=Ren
The 1995 film “Smoke” gets me, but it could be because I watched it with my father as a kid before he passed away. Such a great film though.
I shed half a tear watching little miss sunshine the other day.
Honestly, this may sound really weird, but the thing that makes me tear up pretty much more than anything are these “good sportsmanship moments” YouTube videos. There’s something about people being kind when you least expect it that moves me.
I’ve been crying happy sad tears to “Help Yourself” by Sad Brad Smith.
The entire song is beautifully written and moving; it straddles the line between hope and despair. After listening to the latest ROMA and hearing the rant, this lyric stands out to me:
“Oceans of water underneath our feet, terrible design”
We can sit around and dwell on the dark of the world and being frustrated. But that’s like complaining about how water should flow differently.
Here’s an awesome live performance:
https://youtu.be/UxESZyRm32w
I cry for not having the strength to help myself and those I love(d) moments of weakness too. The song’s guitar melodies and bittersweet lyrics hit me right every time.
@youlikeanh
Still listening to ROMA 65...
Wow!! Think you need to get back out of the US Chris.... All that ranting!! Not good for the blood pressure baby.
I live between NZ and Thailand. 6 months in each. I see a lot of people from all over the world here, and guys from the US... And most of them sound like you!!
People from the rest of the world not so much!!
I get it... The US has turned to shit... Once upon a time everyone wanted to go there.... Not any longer!
Just listening to ROMA 65
And yes I'm very happy to be here to watch the beginning of the end.. Or the middle of the end....
Or wherever we are in terms of THE END!
If that's where we are?
YES YES YES!
God yes, and I'm appreciating every single moment of being here now.
What a time to be alive!
My mother went through the London blitz (WW11) alone as a single mother of 2 very young children. My father left her for another women 2 weeks after my brother was born just as war was breaking out! And it was freezing, snow everywhere.
She told me many scary stories about her life during that time. It was hard! But she also told me that it was one of, if not the best time of her life. Because she felt so alive. She said pretty much everyone she knew felt the same.
And yes, I fully get what she means now.
Being here now at this time when humanity is faced with so many layers of crisis and potentially on the edge of destruction (or maybe not) is incredible.
I actually feel privileged and at 72 I really am so damn grateful to be here. Feeling life coursing through my body everyday is fucking awesome.
In fact I so wish I could live to see what happens. Which is why I'm doing everything I possibly can to 'optimize' my body, mind and spirit! I know how much you dislike that word and lifestyle Chris... But it's working for me!! 🙏💖
PS my mother eventually took my father back as women often do. And I was born in 1950. So I've lived through some of the best times ever! Doesn't mean my life has been easy... Not at all. There's been huge tragedy and grief over the years.
But oh my, What a fucking awesome ride!! 🙏🙏🙏💖
None of the above but this song definitely activated the tear ducts..
https://youtu.be/UKxTIuw1zEM
Just finishing ROMA 65 and a long walk, craving Skim Milk for some reason? I had the pleasure of seeing Tears for Fears last Thursday and shed a tear or two singing along to “Everybody Wants To Rule The World”.
I’m sure you’ve all heard it hundreds of times but, couldn’t help but think about the lyrics and how well they fit with what was discussed in this ROMA.
If you haven’t heard their latest stuff, “My Demons” is a favourite.
Welcome to your life... there’s no turning back.
Cancer Ward
Novel by Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn
A couple weeks ago, I watched the Studio Ghibli movie; Grave of the Fireflies. It was so well done, and so sad. The story is about Seita and Setsuko, two young Japanese siblings, living in the declining days of World War II. It's based on a true story as well, which made it even more sad 😭🫶🏻
The 2020 animated movie "Onward" and the accompanying soundtrack song "Carried Me with You" by Brandi Carlile got me pretty good. More recently the funeral episode from the last season of Succession (Roman's breakdown specifically) was tough to watch. And it definitely seems like this becomes more common the older I get (43 now).
I recently watched the Pixar movie "Soul" with my little nephew. I didnt know anything about it going into it and at the end there is a montage of all the beautiful moments of the main guy's life. Moments where he is filled with awe, gratitude, spiritual connection, though now you are seeing him experiencing it with the larger context of the journey of his soul. I was completely moved to grown man tears.
I thought the movie was genius, and one of the best movies Ive seen in a long time. Maybe its because I am a 33 year old man with no kids, but Ive never heard anyone talk about it really, which surprises me...
"Rectify" Sundance TV, I remember that show sneaked into your veins. The story. The acting. The music. The show is kinda slow and requires full-commitment but it's such a well-told drama. I don't know about "tears" but it definitely moved me a lot.
Another very fine thing that can be had from a book is a Sense of Wonder.
No doubt I've found that in lots of books, but what comes to mind are two novels by Arthur C. Clark. "Rendezvous with Rama" I read when well into adulthood. Just the description of that space ark & the mysteries inside produced a strong sense of awe.
When I was 15 I read Clark's "Childhood's End" while, by chance, listening to Blood, Sweat & Tears' "Child is Father to the Man" ("child" had nothing to do with it — it was just the LP I was playing over & over on my beat-up record player at the time). I got a similar sense of awe from that book.
We all know the association of music with "real life". I still listen to Child is Father to the Man sometimes, & it always puts me in mind of that book.
Who is starting a Live stream for the next couple of hours?
It definitely happens to me more frequently. I can get teary so easily from books/films/shows. But weirdly enough, it's really hard for me to do so in 'real life', even for really intense moments of my life. I'm not sure what that says about me and I should probably explore it more.
For the most recent, it was the show called The Leftovers. It aired from 2014-2017 but I just got around to it. It's only 28 episodes so not a huge commitment.
The premise is that one day, 2% of the world's population disappear into thin air. The show isn't about finding out what happened to those people. It's about how those left behind deal with this strange, unexplainable occurence.
The writing is insanely good and the questions that the show grapples with are deeply applicable to all of us as human beings with a finite existence. It's definitely a show I'd like to re-watch in a couple years. I highly, highly recommend it.
I have this thing for Asian women-I know-who doesn’t. When I see an attractive Asian lady-to break the ice I say-hey-you look familiar.
I watched a movie last night called "Detachment" which may have been the first time I ever cried watching a film. I cannot recall another time a movie had brought me to tears outside of when I was a child. This movie is about a substitute teacher who accepted a position at a high school comprised of primarily at risk youth and students performing well below grade level. The majority are apathetic about doing anything to change their situation and the protagonist is able to make some connection with these students despite the hopelessness that they are in. The film really highlights developmental trauma and impact it has on our youth and the hopelessness that educators can find themselves in when they are expected to clean up the mess that parents have brought on their children. This movie hit especially close to home for me because I am in a similar situation working as a therapist through an alternative school who are quite similar to the students depicted in the film. I really resonated with the sort of detached demeanor of the protagonist and it almost felt like I could see myself in his shoes. It often feels like to do this kind of work, one must be detached to some degree just to handle it especially when surrounded by some of the horror stories of what these kids have gone through. Some of the scenes in this movie just straight up brought me to tears because I felt as if I'd been in situations so similar and felt these same feelings, but often times pushed them aside.
I used to cry a lot when I was a child but at some point learned how to suppress those emotions and cry very little past that point. I do think I'm more aware of my emotions now and able to identify tears bubbling up in certain circumstances. The impulse to suppress is always there though and it has been a work in progress to allow myself to fully feel those feelings. Probably speaks more to why I resonated so much with this film.
“The stars are out tonight
Looking up at them I experience vertigo
My body is getting older
Slowly I am dying
How terrible and how sweet
The stars are out tonight”
**Don’t know who wrote this but I added it to my notes years ago and it still sticks with me today**
Just as tearful now in my 30’s as I was when I was a kid. Still further to go in life *touches wood* so we’ll see. All depends on the resonance of the message for me.
First time I remember shedding a tear over a Tv show was when Kel came back to kenan’s empty house looking for him but Kel had already moved/left.
More recently I shed a tear over the film “through the night” ft Liam neeson. It’s a cheesy film but it puts into the the frame how some fathers will go to the end of the earth to save their sons. Hits hard when you not experienced much positive masculine energy.
More recently I remember the tear ducts stinging over “Sing 2” which I watched with nephew. The animated lion was singing about his dead wife who’d passed from cancer! I was thinking damn! They got me! 😢😂
I doubt it was the last time I was brought to tears, but the finale of Six Feet Under had me in tears every time I’ve watched it.
Mid Nineties a film by Jonah Hill got me as did his film Stutz. As a therapist I’m often disappointed how Hollywood depicts therapy but Jonah got it right when midway through Stutz he had the guts to acknowledge he had got it all wrong from the beginning. In making the shift he not only gave the audience something more honest and meaningful but he allowed himself to be transformed by the process.
I will go for a song, check out John Gorka’s Let Them In.
The last film that made me cry was “Toni Erdmann” (2016)
The first chapter of The Overstory moved me to tears. I read it, cried and took a walk, and then re-read the first chapter. It was powerful.
Recently, I cried tears of laughter when I watched the movie Twins with Danny Devito and Arnold Schwarzenegger. For context, it came out the year before I was born, and I watched it with my partner who used to rent it all the time as a kid. It was refreshing to watch an innocent 80s comedy and be transported away from the madness of the world in 2023.
This song, Dancing in the Graveyard, is the one piece of art that will put tears on my face without fail. After losing both parents in 2018/2019 and having lost my grandfather two decades prior, this song really makes me wish I could see them all at least one more time. https://youtu.be/lPOM0IUsd_0
And YES, the older I get the more inclined I am to weep at things.
I don’t cry often, but more.
The last was Genesis 8:6-12.
When my mother died, the hospital staff put a picture of a dove holding an olive branch in its beak at the door. That’s when I knew what had awakened me in the night. I couldn’t get the image out of my head, and I went and looked it up.
Additionally, a couple works that I know moved me to tears—-The Tale of Despereaux (film version), and Sturgill Simpson’s A Sailor’s Guide to Earth.
I went to a reading by Ada Limon, America's poet Laureate, a couple weeks ago. Her piece, The Conditional, really fucking got me.
Say tomorrow doesn’t come.
Say the moon becomes an icy pit.
Say the sweet-gum tree is petrified.
Say the sun’s a foul black tire fire.
Say the owl’s eyes are pinpricks.
Say the raccoon’s a hot tar stain.
Say the shirt’s plastic ditch-litter.
Say the kitchen’s a cow’s corpse.
Say we never get to see it: bright
future, stuck like a bum star, never
coming close, never dazzling.
Say we never meet her. Never him.
Say we spend our last moments staring
at each other, hands knotted together,
clutching the dog, watching the sky burn.
Say, It doesn’t matter. Say, That would be
enough. Say you’d still want this: us alive,
right here, feeling lucky.
I've always cried at pretty much anything--from Thai commercials to crappy movies and everything in between. Lately, I've cried like a baby listening to Social Distortion (Ball and Chain) and playing the game Red Dead Redemption 2. RDR 2 really fucked me up. I cried for 3 days straight, and I still check some cut scenes on youtube with the same effect. This year was the first time that a video game made me cry (the screenwriting in video games is getting better and better). It started with Ghost of Tsushima and now RDR2
The new album "Michael" by Killer Mike.
THIS: "Inside one of Kabul’s largest drug rehabilitation centers" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PHVGL1BDXXU
2,6 million views in less than two weeks! wow
Believe it or not The Walking Dead and Sons of Anarchy both got me recently. It's more common the older I get.
Speaking of books, Chris have you ever read Gary Jennings and his book Aztec? It's monumental world building and storytelling at its best. It's sex, drugs, and rock n' roll, Aztec style. It's also hilarious and quite moving.
Maybe my favorite thing about the book is a book review I read once. The reviewer said he read the book in his early 20s and twenty years later he's still traumatized haha! Jennings writes amazing historical fiction books.
He has another book about a circus troop during the civil war. He researched Aztec for a decade before writing it and lived with a circus troop for a year for the other book.
I couldn't say specific movies or shows, but every time there's cancer involved I cry and even stop watching. I am dealing with some trauma, but cancer seems to be everywhere!
I’m reading some Mary Oliver poems right now, and “When I Am Among the Trees” got me good.
“When I am among the trees,
especially the willows and the honey locust,
equally the beech, the oaks and the pines,
they give off such hints of gladness.
I would almost say that they save me, and daily.
I am so distant from the hope of myself,
in which I have goodness, and discernment,
and never hurry through the world
but walk slowly, and bow often.
Around me the trees stir in their leaves
and call out, "Stay awhile."
The light flows from their branches.
And they call again, "It's simple," they say,
"and you too have come
into the world to do this, to go easy, to be filled with light, and to shine."
Also, I second Cheryl Strayed’s TBT as well. Really lovely.