Are you a proud optimist? A glass half-full sorta person? How much is too much to spend on feline medical care? Should I stay or should I go? Do we actually love our pets or just convince ourselves we do? Is there wisdom to be found in ruthlessness?
Chris there’s an interesting discussion about this ROMA going on in discord. I know you prefer the conversations on substack but I’d love to hear your thoughts on the discussion we’re having over there
Now I've listened to that "changeling dog" story more than a half a dozen times by now, and I always keep thinking that if your parents had spent just a few more days with "Fake Tess" they would have eventually figure out she wasn't their dog. Little things would have started to pile up (she wouldn't eat the usual food, or she would sit in the 'wrong' side of the couch next to your dad, etc) until the evidence would be undeniable.
PS: I do hope you guys are planning on double pane windows instead of regular ones, if you are really serious about designing the house to be energy efficient. There's no safer way to make a house unlivable if you end up putting big windows with no regard to heat insulation.
Regarding Chris's points on optimists and realists:
In reading Gabor Mate's book The Myth of Normal, Gabor writes about how young children will typically blame themselves if they experience neglect or abuse from their parents. He went on to explain that self-blame is much easier for kids to cope with than the horrifying truth that their parents can't be trusted to care for them. If the kid thinks they have a sense of control in how their parents treat them, then perhaps they can make changes to get their essential needs met. But the sad truth is some parents do treat their kids so poorly that it leaves indelible marks on the kids' psyches. Gabor writes that adults who suffered intense childhood abuse will often still hold onto the memory framework of "a happy childhood".
My point here is that I see a parallel in what Chris is talking about regarding the adult optimist's view on the possibility of healthy change in modern civilization. Young kids struggle to accept the reality that their abusive parents can't care for them because it's too horrifying to think they can't get their needs met, so they blame themselves and try to self-correct. Their self-corrections may allow for survival as the child bends around the needs of the abusive parent, but healthy development is not possible in this situation.
Similarly, adults may adopt the perspective of optimism because it's too horrifying to accept the truth that perhaps nothing can be done to create a healthy globalized world. Optimism may literally be a survival method, as I'm sure people commit suicide frequently because of how horrifying the world can be. The adult optimist can latch onto a "benevolent and blameless" parent figure like a political party, religion, or company, while failing to see the glaring faults.
The thing is, I personally can't just decide to be optimistic about the fate of humanity. Just like I can't choose to believe in a Christian god because heaven sounds nice. Accepting uncertainty can be really painful, but I believe equanimity in the face of uncertainty is one of the highest forms of maturity.
The late, great American journalist William Pfaff didn't believe in "progress" — at best fragile, temporary gains. (Much like you, I imagine.) In his fine book "The bullet's song", he wrote that though he didn't believe in progress, in order to get anything good achieved in society At All, one had to act as if one Did believe in progress; & possibly talk the talk as well.
So if MLK wants to achieve real civil rights for blacks, he has to coat his appeal in optimistic rhetoric.
If you want to inspire people, sometimes you have to talk some bullshit.
Holy crap, that musical performance was unbelievable! Thank you so much for sharing and kickstarting my new musical obsession. (Sorry for being such a Millennial...).
Excited about the windows. Thank you for your thoughts. Life is short, enjoy the days with those you love and I choose a walk in nature, chats with friends and bong hits of course. I’ve been listening to Crosby playlists today and good memories with there music.
What a great way to introduce David Crosby's music. I was lucky enough to hear the three (later four) of them in concert. And Crosby was very articulate, as evidenced by his interviews with Rolling Stone magazine.
Chris there’s an interesting discussion about this ROMA going on in discord. I know you prefer the conversations on substack but I’d love to hear your thoughts on the discussion we’re having over there
Now I've listened to that "changeling dog" story more than a half a dozen times by now, and I always keep thinking that if your parents had spent just a few more days with "Fake Tess" they would have eventually figure out she wasn't their dog. Little things would have started to pile up (she wouldn't eat the usual food, or she would sit in the 'wrong' side of the couch next to your dad, etc) until the evidence would be undeniable.
PS: I do hope you guys are planning on double pane windows instead of regular ones, if you are really serious about designing the house to be energy efficient. There's no safer way to make a house unlivable if you end up putting big windows with no regard to heat insulation.
Regarding Chris's points on optimists and realists:
In reading Gabor Mate's book The Myth of Normal, Gabor writes about how young children will typically blame themselves if they experience neglect or abuse from their parents. He went on to explain that self-blame is much easier for kids to cope with than the horrifying truth that their parents can't be trusted to care for them. If the kid thinks they have a sense of control in how their parents treat them, then perhaps they can make changes to get their essential needs met. But the sad truth is some parents do treat their kids so poorly that it leaves indelible marks on the kids' psyches. Gabor writes that adults who suffered intense childhood abuse will often still hold onto the memory framework of "a happy childhood".
My point here is that I see a parallel in what Chris is talking about regarding the adult optimist's view on the possibility of healthy change in modern civilization. Young kids struggle to accept the reality that their abusive parents can't care for them because it's too horrifying to think they can't get their needs met, so they blame themselves and try to self-correct. Their self-corrections may allow for survival as the child bends around the needs of the abusive parent, but healthy development is not possible in this situation.
Similarly, adults may adopt the perspective of optimism because it's too horrifying to accept the truth that perhaps nothing can be done to create a healthy globalized world. Optimism may literally be a survival method, as I'm sure people commit suicide frequently because of how horrifying the world can be. The adult optimist can latch onto a "benevolent and blameless" parent figure like a political party, religion, or company, while failing to see the glaring faults.
The thing is, I personally can't just decide to be optimistic about the fate of humanity. Just like I can't choose to believe in a Christian god because heaven sounds nice. Accepting uncertainty can be really painful, but I believe equanimity in the face of uncertainty is one of the highest forms of maturity.
Thanks for being a voice of uncertainty, Chris.
I'm sorry Steven. My comments were distasteful and adolescent. I'm probably just jealous of the hair.
Great ROMA - much to ponder on!
The late, great American journalist William Pfaff didn't believe in "progress" — at best fragile, temporary gains. (Much like you, I imagine.) In his fine book "The bullet's song", he wrote that though he didn't believe in progress, in order to get anything good achieved in society At All, one had to act as if one Did believe in progress; & possibly talk the talk as well.
So if MLK wants to achieve real civil rights for blacks, he has to coat his appeal in optimistic rhetoric.
If you want to inspire people, sometimes you have to talk some bullshit.
What in God's name does "ROMA" mean?
These acronyms really aren't necessary.
Holy crap, that musical performance was unbelievable! Thank you so much for sharing and kickstarting my new musical obsession. (Sorry for being such a Millennial...).
Hey Chris,
Excited about the windows. Thank you for your thoughts. Life is short, enjoy the days with those you love and I choose a walk in nature, chats with friends and bong hits of course. I’ve been listening to Crosby playlists today and good memories with there music.
Groovy vibes.
What a great way to introduce David Crosby's music. I was lucky enough to hear the three (later four) of them in concert. And Crosby was very articulate, as evidenced by his interviews with Rolling Stone magazine.