What's Chris Been Up To?
Struck by silence.
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Hey all. I hope you’re having a wonderful winter so far (or a sumptuous summer, to those of you in the southern hemisphere). Anya and I have settled into our little rental here under the very dark skies of Crestone.
Today, fresh out of bed, I stepped outside to take that wonderful morning piss (warm sun, 7 degree air, my liquid offering to the desert) and I was struck by the crystalline silence. Not a car, airplane, chainsaw, leaf-blower, barking dog, or screaming child to be heard. It was strangely, confusingly amazing to be struck by this overwhelming absence. It’s like noticing, for the thousandth time, the pause between inhalation and exhalation, or how utterly perfect a glass of cool water is when you’re really thirsty. I almost wrote, “how perfect a glass of cool water tastes…” but good water has no taste, and that’s the point. The perfection is composed of the absence of flavor. The missing machine noises, artificial light, fast-food joints, strip malls, power lines … it’s so easy to forget and undervalue what isn’t there.
But our spirit doesn’t forget. It seeks nourishment in the silence, emptiness, peace, and darkness as much as our bodies crave pure water, air free of smoke and dust, and food free of pesticides, and our hearts yearn to give and receive love without condition, hesitation, or hidden agendas.
I’m reminded of one of my favorite poems, “For the Anniversary of My Death,” by W. S. Merwin, written in celebration of his own impending absence:
Every year without knowing it I have passed the day When the last fires will wave to me And the silence will set out Tireless traveler Like the beam of a lightless star Then I will no longer Find myself in life as in a strange garment Surprised at the earth And the love of one woman And the shamelessness of men As today writing after three days of rain Hearing the wren sing and the falling cease And bowing not knowing to what
I hope you are enriched and empowered by the silent, empty spaces in your life, and bowing not knowing to what.
CPR
A few things:
I just upgraded to a Pixel 7, which I love so far. They gave me ten codes for a $100 discount for “friends and family,” so if you or anyone you know is planning to buy a Pixel 6, 7, or 7 Pro, let me know, and I’ll hook you up with a code (while supplies last).
Mom is running a 25% sale on merch on my site: t-shirts, hoodies, and whatnot. Get your stocking stuffed!
I’m thinking of learning to play guitar, starting out with Rick Beato’s beginner’s course. If anyone has a good contact at Fender or Gibson, let me know. I was thinking it might be fun to make my experience an ongoing part of the podcast and/or Substack.
I can certainly resoinate with the poem, and with your comments. Simon and Garfunkle's song "The Sounds of SIlence" certainly resonates. I am so hard of hearing that I miss all the traffic sounds just outside my front door. And it is a relief to go into a restaurant and not hear the sounds coming from the almost ubiquitous TV sets on the walls. But I miss the sounds of raindrops hitting my window. I miss the sound of neighborhood kids olaying. I can see them but I cannot hear them. And I miss the
sounds of my CD and LP music collections. This may be the worst loss of all; I can put my hearing aid microphone by the speakers and I can hear the music, but it comes through in such a strange distorted fashion that I am better off when it is silent. So I just gain a few and lose a few.
I think it is pretty cool that you are thinking of learning the guitar. I am learning the banjo and find it incredibly rewarding. I also have a deeper appreciation of music and musicians now that I am learning myself. I am sending positive and encouraging vibes your way : )